Thursday, July 22, 2010


My life is insane. Raising 4 young children is hard, especially while trying to singlehandedly get a house ready for market and prepare photos and videos for my brothers upcoming wedding. I find myself constantly praying for peace. I ran across this quote the other day and it has been quite helpful in helping me to alleviate some of my own stress.

“Tension is who you think you should be.
Relaxation is who you are.”

I am trying to be who I am and afford others (people and inanimate objects alike) the same privilege. For when I allow things to be what they are, I release myself from tension that, in reality, I created in the first place with my silly illusions of control and the mistaken notion that I know better that anyone else how things should be. We all do it. And when you think about it, it's just ridiculous.
Ahead of me (in the next year) I have at least 2 moves- residency changes. They are a good thing. We'll be getting out of debt and staying that way. We get to co-habitate in the castle on the hill at some point (I'm quite pleased about that). They do, however necessitate some serious simplification. I am forced to look at my belongings and consider very seriously why I keep them, and if I should continue doing so. I am buying simplicity with my belongings... and I am kind of loving it. The less I own, the less I am responsible for. Maintenance, storage, protection of such things, it's all just more worries skittering about in my already crowded head. Clutter is leaving, the DI is getting hefty donations, yard sales are being contributed to. Best of all, my home is becoming more spacious, and though not audibly quieter due to the small people running about, it is in many ways more still- more peaceful. I have less to worry about. I'd say that sounds like a fair arrangement.
My brave cohort has dreams of whisking us away to far off lands in the nearish future. And because yes, we will be out of debt, but no, we will not be wealthy as of yet, that will require further simplification. As in 'what you can fit in a suitcase' kind of simplification. I find myself intrigued and enamoured with the idea of taking only basic needs and starting fresh. (My spellcheck says the 'u' is not welcome in 'enamoured', but I say U is always welcome in my house. I can always go for more of U.) Simplification is becoming a way of life- for survival sake. Our meals are more simple- often a salad and roasted potatoes, a yam and some steamed broccoli, or fish and a veg or two. Because if I don't simplify- we get to bed late, I don't notice my children except to brush them out of the way, and my cohort and I are far too befuddled and exhausted by the end of day to do anything but sit around and feel downtrodden and resentful at every one and everything (including each other). It is truly amazing. I am slowly getting the hang of letting go of my weights... and I feel lighter. Imagine that.